Luxembourg is NOT the size of Rhode Island, but the ex-US ambassador to it would fit right in here in lil' Rhody.

In what has to be the best news story of the day, it seems that the US Ambassador to Luxembourg, a position apparently earned by donating $500k to President Obama's campaign, has been rather extravagant and extremely difficult.

This is glorious.

Among her atrocities, she "purchased $3,400 in wine and liquor a day before the 2010 budget year ended", "spent $2,400 to fly with an aide to a Swiss "professional school" whose graduates have gone on to work for Buckingham Palace and similar places to interview candidates to replace a retired property caretaker and a fired chef,", and so distressed her employees that "at least four staffers quit or sought transfers to Iraq and Afghanistan during her tenure."

She has since resigned.

While this story is so delicious I want to eat it, investigation is called for. In the original article (which I can't recommend enough) the author states that this magnificent diplomat was assigned to the "Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, a tiny nation of 500,000 people about the size of Rhode Island."

Sadly, it is not true.

Luxembourg is a mere 998.6 sq mi , (2,586.4 km²),  while Rhode Island is a whopping 1,545 sq mi (4,002 km²).

However, given Ambassador Stroum's skill set and leadership tactics, I am sure that if she were willing to relocate to Rogue Island, she would find kindred spirits in abundance.



Link to Seattle Times article here. Does Rhode Island really mean that much more than Luxembourg to readers in Seattle????

Louisiana's latest FUBAR disaster is NOT the size of Rhode Island. It's bigger.

A surprising number of sources pointed this one out to me- thanks people! ;)

"An oil spill the size of Rhode Island"
There's a story here, which uses the phrase, but it was apparently used earlier on msnbc.com, who have since changed their phraseology, as well they should.

While this is a story much more fittin' for my other, more depressing blog, Lexacat's Guide To The Doom, my duty to defend Rhode Island from being used as an arbitrary measuring unit calls.

The oil spill is apparently now "an expanding area about 48 miles long and 80 miles wide, but with uneven borders, making it difficult to calculate its area in square miles," according to MSNBC's updated story, which makes it significantly larger than Rhode Island, which is a mere 37 miles by 48 miles. The oil spill is way bigger than Rhode Island. Hard to wrap your head around that, isn't it?

They're planning on lighting it on fire, which I'm sure will lead to excited reporters giddily talking about the fire the size of Rhode Island, and then to even more excited reporters dementedly talking about the pile of dead marine life the size of Rhode Island.

Iceland? I don't think so. Grr!

This absurd volcano-drama related headline has taunted me into exploding and raining my ash and lava of persnicketty-ness over the fool who wrote it.

"Iceland is the Disneyland of volcanoes, with 35 active volcanoes on or around the island. The island is about 100 miles long and 60 miles wide, about the size of Rhode Island."

(The wildly inaccurate article can be found here)

WRONG, on so many levels.

Iceland, for one, is not about 100 miles long and 60 miles wide. Neither is Rhode Island, clocking in at about 48 miles long by 37 miles wide, if you're keeping track. Iceland, rather, is approximately 285 miles long by 174 miles wide. *

Rhode Island is 1,545 sq miles in total land area. Iceland is 39,770 sq miles in total land area. Icleand is 25.7 times larger than Rhode Island.

Despite these epic differences in scale, and a mutual love of hákarl (Icelandic for "fermented shark"- tasty! and a favored Rhode Island snack!), the only other real shared attribute of Iceland and Rhode Island is their historical anarchism, as exemplified by the Icelandic Commonwealth (930–1262) Rhode Island (1636–1648.* God, I love the internet.




* http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/David_Oddsson.aspx
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_anarchist_communities

Olympic shout-out, courtesy of Bob Costas. Andorra is 1/6th the size of Rhode Island.

The hideously loquacious Bob Costas dropped this nugget during the parade of athletes on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. "Andorra is one-sixth the size of Rhode Island", he said. He and Matt Lauer then talked, interminably, for hours. Was he right about this, the most important factoid of the evening?

According to Wikipedia, Andorra has "an area of 468 km2 (181 sq mi)".


Rhode Island, as we should all know by now, has an area of 4,002 km²(1,545 sq mi).
Bob Costas is sadly and unsurprisingly wrong. Andorra is about 1/10th the size of Rhode Island. Bob Costas is WRONG. Bob Costas should have to go to Rhody Joe's and eat their food and spin that ridiculous wheel and pole dance as punishment, but there is no justice in this cruel world.

Fort Benning, Georgia

Wrong.



"The population of trained soldiers at Fort Benning — which is about the size of Rhode Island — will increase from 111,052 in 2008 to 144,770 in 2011."

According to wikipedia, Fort Benning is "covers 182,000 acres (737 km²), while Rhode island is 4,002 km², so, um, no.

Link to The News Enterprise, serving Harding County, Kentucky, who I don't expect to know better, sadly.

Alex Rodriguez's elbow pad

Wrong.

"The Steroid Twins: First impression of Alex Rodriguez's ballyhooed return Friday came not with him hammering the first pitch he saw over the fence for a three-run homer, but in the seconds right before as he stepped into the Camden Yards batter's box.

He was wearing, as always, an elbow pad the size of Rhode Island."


While I understand that sportswriters, being the sad magpies of the journalistic community, are always looking for a colorful phrase, may I suggest that using "THE SIZE OF RHODE ISLAND" wins no points for originality or style.
If bloody Alex Rodriguez was such a freaking giant, he'd be off destroying Manhattan like that beastie from Cloverfield, rather than loping about Fenway. For God's sake, people.

Link to CBS Sports, whose writing is bleak, to say the least.

This guy's father's oil stain

Wrong

"Eventually, my father got tired of pressure-washing an oil stain the size of Rhode Island off the driveway every month and exclaimed to me one day, “Son, it’s time for you to get a newer car.” "

Well, call me a cynic, but I bet this is wrong. I am sick of this nonsense, sick, I tell you.

Link to the Boston Herald, who (like most of Massachusetts- or, as the residents are often known, Massholes) has it out for us Rhodys.

The Copper River Watershed Area, Alaska

Wildly wrong.


"Each of the communities in our watershed, from Mentasta Lake down to Cordova, are connected by the glaciers, tributaries, rivers and salmon of the Copper River watershed, an area roughly the size of Rhode Island, with a population of only 4,782, according to information on the state’s Division of Community Affairs Web site."

This is wrong as wrong gets, pretty much. On the Copper River Watershed Projects home page, they say "26,500 square miles". Rhode Island is 1,545 square miles.

Link to The Cordova Times, Alaska

Basque Country, Spain

Wrong.


"Wine expert Jancis Robinson writes that since the 1990s Txakolina has improved “noticeably.” For the first-time, Txakolina, once a little wine made in homes, exploded internationally. Basque country is only about the size of Rhode Island. A little more than 400 acres produce wine."

Well, Basque country is 7,234 km², and li'l Rhody is a mere 4,002 km², so the little wine region that could is almost twice the size of Rhode Island.

Link to Sonoma Sun, California paper

North Cascades National Park Washington

Wrong, but not horribly wrong!




This is almost true. North Cascades National Park is 1069 sq mi, and lovely Rhody is 1,545 sq mi. Rhody is ridiculously small.

" North Cascades, a vast wilderness area about the size of Rhode Island with jagged high peaks and more than 300 glaciers, is the only U.S. national park where stocking nonnative fish still occurs for recreation purposes, Park Superintendent Chip Jenkins said."

Link to Associate Press, who should really learn to fact check.

Aiken County, South Carolina

Close but no chowdah!

"Aiken County is the size of Rhode Island and has 22 volunteer fire departments protecting the lives and property of its residents."

And more points to them. When I think about living in a state where one county is nearly the size of Rhode Island, it makes me twitch. I am the kind of Rhode Islander (South County style) who gets to Providence maybe a couple of times a year.

They are also, somewhat surprisingly, almost right about this size thing, although why people in South Carolina would bother measuring things in Rhode Islands is beyond me.

Anyhoo, Aiken county is 1,073 sq mi, while Rhode Island is 1,545 sq mi. Interestingly, Aiken County seems to have a real issue with l'il Rhody- on the official Aiken County website, they claim that "Aiken is the fourth largest South Carolina county by land area, and its size of 1,073 square miles is 28 square miles larger than the state of Rhode Island." They are wrong, but it is still so much closer to right than most usages, and they are Southern, so I'll cut them some slack. They might have measured Aiken County wrong for all I know.

Link to Aiken Standard, South Carolina

Nancy Pelosi's heart (or airplane)

Wrong.

"Nancy "it's all for the little people" Pelosi has a heart the size of Rhode Island; or is Rhode Island the size of the new plane that she's demanding?"

I know, I know! Neither! Rhode Island is not the size of Nancy Pelosi's new plane, and unless some horrible mutation has struck her (which I'm sure would make the news), her heart is NOT the size of Rhode Island.

Link to The Daily Journal, covering Vineland, Millville, and Greater Cumberland County N.J.

Alonzo Mourning's Basketball Jersey

Wrong.

"On Monday night, a jersey the size of Rhode Island donning the No. 33 was raised to the rafters in American Airlines Arena to honor not only a great basketball player, but a pillar of the Dade County community and a positive influence on people of all ages."

Link to OpenSports, who I'm sure meant no disrespect.

The scoreboard at Yankee Stadium

Wrong.

"He was particularly impressed by the scoreboard — after all, it’s only the size of Rhode Island — and was awed by the space in the airy visiting clubhouse."

This is an exagerration. The scoreboard is actually "is nearly 101 feet wide and 59 feet tall", not nearly the size of Rhode Island.

Link to NYT blogger, who should know better.

Pregnant with sextuplets lady

Wrong.


""Today I could very well lose my mind," Kate says during the show’s intro that displays a pre-labor photo of Mommy with a stomach roughly the size of Rhode Island."

While it is all too awful to think about, I still don't believe that she had a stomach anywhere near the size of Rhode Island.

Link to Boston Herald (for shame, Boston, for shame.)

Paktia Province, Afghanistan

Wrong.

"The nine-person civil affairs section serves as the face of the Paktia Provincial Reconstruction Team for the provincial government and local people. Cullison's team divides the 14 districts that cover an area about the size of Rhode Island and then reach out to assess the areas and determine what projects will both boost the economy and help legitimize the Afghan government. "

At 2,483 sq mi Paktia Province is much larger than Rhode Island (1,545 sq mi).

Link to American Forces Press Service story

This guy's duffel bag

Wrong.
" Last weekend, I toted around a duffel bag the size of Rhode Island (small for a state, large for a duffel bag). Inside were three bottles: Aleve, Ibuprofen and potassium. It also contained an assortment of ointments, athletic tapes and braces. It looked like Larry King’s overnight bag, minus the brill cream."

Without measurements, it is impossible to be sure, but I strongly suspect that this guy's duffel bag is NOT the size of Rhode Island.

Link to Wauneta, Nebraska Breeze

Yuma County, AZ

Wrong.

Economy misery article

" "In Yuma County we have more square miles to cover in order to transport students to school as opposed to say Phoenix, where a lot of students can walk to school. We have more miles to cover and a lot more students to transport. Our district is 2,455 square miles. That's the size of Rhode Island."

Sadly, this is NOT the size of Rhode Island (1,545 sq mi),

Yuma Sun Story